jeneric journeys

It started with a nudge and ended up much more…….

So, the other day, Jen and I went on a little excursion to “shark alley” (consider this foreshadowing)!  For those of you questioning our sanity, this was a sanctioned adventure run dozens of times per week with a boat, crew, and other passengers. As is readily apparent, the main goal of this sojourn to the deep (actually, it’s only about 10 feet of water) is to get up close and personal with the denizens of the deep…. sharks!

After a quick boat ride through a beautiful and calm turquoise sea, you get the feeling (now we know somewhat unwarranted) that maybe Disney is the sponsor and everything is under control. Once arriving at our spot, the crew of the “S.S. Naive Americans” starts chumming the water.  For you uninitiated land lubbers, this means they just start throwing raw fish parts and guts into the water and wait for the show to begin. Within 30 seconds, the calm seas are now rippling with anticipation, and actual waves brought on by more nurse sharks than I have ever seen in one place at a single time – a venerable “sharknado” of probably 30-40 sharks measuring in at 4 – 8 feet each!

No need to panic for a number of reasons:

1. Nurse sharks are the labrador retrievers of the sea – very docile, uninterested in humans, and extremely non-aggressive.
2. Nurse sharks don’t have teeth (fake news!)
3. As mentioned prior, this is a sanctioned tour, so what could possibly go wrong?!
4. I told Jen I would go in first.

The sharknado is concentrated at the rear of the boat where they are being fed and the crew just tells us to stay towards the outside of the mass of sharks and we’ll be fine. As well as good common sense, it seems almost impractical to get into the middle of the shark traffic jam simply because there really isn’t any water to swim in – it’s just a mass of sharks! So off I go, dropping in from the opposite side of the sharks with snorkel gear (mask, snorkel, flippers) to enjoy the extravaganza.  As my flippers hit the water, a distant memory from P.T. Barnum floats up through my cerebral cortex – “a sucker is born every minute.”

Splash!  I’m in the fray and it’s nothing short of fantastic! I’m about 4 feet from the Sharknado, but individual sharks are cruising by within inches and you can pet them from snout to tail (approved activity per the guides). Within moments, I’m joined by Jen and it’s an adrenaline rush that feels perfectly safe (think: a large, steep roller coaster). We spend the next 10 minutes or so just observing this frenzied shark ballet and getting up close and personal (at this point I’m thinking Ahab from Moby Dick was a pretty big wimp)!

Of course, I’m inching closer to the epicenter of the Sharknado because that’s how I roll.  As I’m petting a shark with my right hand, my left hand apparently starts gliding away a bit from my body and all of a sudden, I feel pressure I was not expecting. As I jerk my head left to figure out why Jen is squeezing my hand so hard, I notice her head is now elongated, she is bald, and her loving eyes that always provided comfort are now a bit dead and beady.  As I look down her nose (that has now become a snout), I’m baffled to see “she” has engulfed my entire hand, all the way up to the wrist.  OK – this is not Jen, nor is this a loving embrace, and nurse sharks DO have teeth! Instinctually, I pop the shark on the snout with my free hand, he/she opens its mouth and I have my appendage back at my side where it belongs.  Damage assessment – a picture is worth a thousand words…….

JUST KIDDING!  All digits are intact and my cooking and accounting career will not be impaired.  In fact, at first glance (underwater), it just looked a bit scraped up so I continued to play with my new friends. Turns out, nurse sharks have very poor eyesight and did not mean me any harm when they mistook my hand for some chum. I continue to hold no animosity against these majestic creatures. Once back on the boat, the injury is not serious, but very impressive.  A clear semi-circular bite mark extends from my palm around the back of my hand up my middle finger and it turns out blood is much more visible on dry land than in the water.  A quick trip to the first aid box and I’m bandaged up and on the road to recovery!  The actual wound for posterity….

Regrets – none!  Would we do it again? Absolutely (just remember: HAS – hands at side)!

P.S. – This actually occurred 3 days ago and the wound is 90% healed and there is/was no sign of infection. Of course, I’m relieved it was not serious, but can’t say I’m not a little disappointed I won’t be carrying a shark bite scar. You can pretty much guess how every conversation I had with new people these last few days started! Just wait until the next time I get to play two truths and a lie at some team-building event!

P.S.S. – Jen and I were scuba diving yesterday and were welcomed by a group of 12 reef sharks (6-9 feet) that had LOTS of teeth. No trepidation, but lots of respect! Future posts about the other amazing creatures we are meeting underwater coming soon.